


Burtal Bizarre Food

by Holkie



Series: Mordhaus [5]
Category: Metalocalypse
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-23
Updated: 2017-04-23
Packaged: 2018-10-22 20:39:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10704672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Holkie/pseuds/Holkie
Summary: This was sparked by an episode of Bizarre Food on Food Network I think.  No sex, no original characters, just food.  And a surprise for Murderface.And yes, the dish mentioned in the story is real and what sparked this.





	Burtal Bizarre Food

Dethklok had been on the road for a long time this tour. They were hitting all the major cities of South America this time and leaving the usual path of Dethstruction in their wake.

One of the curse/blessings was sampling the local food. While Nathan had rather liked the barbecued guinea pig in Ecuador, Toki has freaked and wouldn't eat it. Which upset their hosts to no end. Charles had barely soothed things over before show time, on both sides.

They had finally made it to La Paz, Bolivia. The local Dethklok fan club had arranged a big dinner in their honor the night they arrived. The band was starting a 2 night festival, headlining both nights and the locals were out of their minds with fannish devotion for the band. They really wanted to impress their heroes.

There was a tour arranged, that Charles made the band go on, and which they were really bored with until they got to Mercado de las Brujas, aka Witches Market. Nathan and Murderface loved that one and bought a ton of strange talismans made of animal parts (Nathan loved the skulls). Skwisgaar was developing a fetish for women in bowler hats and had a growing group of ladies following him. 

So the dinner was huge with a medium sized selection of fans who won the honor of dinner with the band as well as local politicians and dignitaries. The foods on the menu were all local- Anticucho de corazon (beef hearts with peanut garlic sauce), llama in chocolate sauce (which Toki loved simply because Charles had warned the hosts not to tell him exactly what was in it), etc.

The band was really hungry from walking around in the high altitude. Once they realized the coco tea helped with the altitude sickness, they had actually drank it with only a little prodding from Charles.

"Now, boys," Charles said. "You have to at least try the food. It'll be an insult to our hosts if you don't."

"Wells, butlers, I's try any'ting once." Skwisgaar waved it away. "Evens if its not Swedish." 

"Ja, Is trys it twice." Toki said.

"Stop copies me, Toki!"

"Is didn' copies you, Skwissgaar!"

"Stop it,you two!" Nathan growled. "I just want to eat. And get a 100 beers."

The servers brought out some soup to begin the meal. It looked and smelled delicious and the band dove in with gusto. 

"Heyth! This is really good!" Murderface said. "What is ith?"

The waiter said "Sopa de pene grueso."

"What?" Murderface kept eating.

One of their hosts turned toward him, "It's a very special soup, good local food. It would be called in English chunky penis soup."

The poor waiter had to scrub for 15 minutes to get the soup out of crevasses he didn't know he had. And Murderface missed out on the rest of the dinner.


End file.
